Social Media is broken...

I know you're all looking at this post title going..."what is she on about? Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/(insert other social media site I am oblivious to) is working fine." Yes, the sites might be working fine, no glitches, no outages, but I'm talking about our use of said sites. So maybe I should have titled this little rant "people are broken." I'm not alone in stating recently I decided to limit my use of Facebook. I check my notifications, I sometimes scroll through my newsfeed, but I've snoozed/unfollowed/unfriended a vast number of people. I only stop to read the posts that are about people's personal lives/careers/kids, funny memes, animal pictures, and recipes. I've subscribed to several motivational pages in an attempt to lighten my newsfeed. I'm so tired of the ranting/complaining/whining and sheer hatred I'd been seeing every day. It's funny, my mother used to tell me, "if you can't say something good, don't say anything at all." And though she meant it in regards to commenting on other's appearances, I think it kind of applies in this situation. WTF is up with all the negativity?

"Oh that," you say. Because I know you feel me here. Sadly, some of you reading this are probably offenders. I get that a vast majority of people are unhappy with the political and social climate of the country, and I'm not even going to go there because I try so hard to keep Politics, Religion, and Meanness off of my wall/blog/Twitter.

 "But, Stacey," you whine. "Things are SO bad. And people need to KNOW." Newsflash: People already KNOW. We read/watch the news ourselves and form our own opinions. "But maybe they didn't see this article!" Ah, but maybe you didn't see THIS article. Let's face it, you can find articles/videos/news reports/statistics to back up every side of every argument if you look hard enough. And the real truth is: you aren't going to change anyone else's opinion by blasting yours all over the place. Seriously. Especially, if you're nasty about it. Not even once have I read a rage filled rant on the internet that countered my own views and thought, Man, that person is so right! And neither has anyone else. In the history of ever. All you are going to get from that post is either people who share your views posting comments equivalent to, "Hells yeah, bro!" or the opposite, "Shut the F*ck up, you moron!" Because negativity breeds negativity. And hate? Well that breeds more hate. So why the hell are so many of you spreading that shit around? Who has convinced you that divisiness and sheer fury are going to heal our country? Because that shit is the real fake news.

And don't even get me started on the people from other countries doing it. Sorry, guys. I LOVE my foreign friends and followers, but tend to your business. Isn't there a saying about glass houses and stones? There's not one country on this planet currently that is problem free. There are skeletons in every continent's closet if you dig deep enough.

"Stacey, this is most unlike you. What prompted this little outburst?" you ask. I could make you a powerpoint presentation, complete with color coded handouts, but since we are all also pressed for time (I'm like a super busy author, don't you know?), I will make it short. The tipping point today was my Twitter feed. I logged on because I wanted to see what some other authors were tweeting. I don't really focus on my tweeting much, but decided I need to up my game before the new releases I have coming out. But instead of seeing awesome tweets by people much farther along in their careers, all I saw was politics. Either their own tweets, or retweets of others. It made me sad. I don't read your books because of your opinions on politics or religion or vegetarianism or even if you got your kids vaccinated. I read your books because I enjoy them, and often in spite of those other things (although, I don't know if I could set aside the vaccination one, but that's a personal trigger). So I want to hear about your process, your life, your next book, what films you've liked recently, what books you read. Simple stuff. Good stuff. Happy stuff. And if you want to give me a serious opinion on something? How about which charities you support and why you think they're worthy.

Okay, rant over. I had to get that off my chest, because sometimes that's how you let it go. "Why don't you just stay off social media," you casually suggest. I try to. Honestly, my amount of time spent on those sites has dwindled measurably in the last year. But I pop on to check out some groups I'm in, catch up with a few friends, look at videos of my grandbabies, and hopefully post something that makes people smile. Sure, sometimes I post about being chronically ill or in pain, but I try to make is casual. I'm not asking for sympathy when I do so, though a bit of empathy would be lovely. But I post to let myself and others know that we are not alone in this battle. So many people with serious health issues (and especially work from home creative types) have a tendency to be isolated. Whether by choice, or circumstance, it can be lonely. So I hope that people can connect with my posts. If even one person laughs, I've made the world a little brighter. And gosh knows, we could use some light nowadays. Happiness is a choice, but it's also a lot of work somedays. I'm trying to do my part. Join me, won't you?

I really do 💗 you guys. Well, most of you anyway.

💋 Stacey

Did You Know There Are Travel Sites Dedicated to Visiting Cemeteries?

Well, did you? Why didn't I know this?

I've always been fascinated by cemeteries, the older the better. My Grandma's house was near the oldest cemetery in Quincy--Woodlawn Cemetery, and we used to go there and play hide and seek when I was young. Once, my uncle took my cousins and I to the cemetery at dusk, told us a vampire story, and then drove off and left us. (This explains quite a bit about me.) I have been known to stop the car and venture through a cemetery or two, taking photos and soaking up the atmosphere. My husband and I used to picnic in the cemetery. He's used to my brand of weird. But, apparently I'm not the only one with this fascination. Imagine how stoked I was to find out an author I know wrote a book, 199 Cemeteries to see before you die? Super stoked! And, she graciously wrote a blog post for us today! So without further ado, here's Loren's explanation for why she likes cemeteries and visits as many as she can~

I got started vacationing in graveyards by accident.  I mean, it wasn’t like I’d never been to a cemetery before.  I’d been to the graveyard where my grandfather was buried.  My family had visited John F. Kennedy’s grave in Arlington and the Soldiers’ National Cemetery at Gettysburg.  After the junior prom, my date organized a field trip to take prom pictures on the steps of a local mausoleum. I’d gone to sit in the graveyard down the road when I needed a quiet place away from my parents.

Still, it seemed breathtakingly weird when my husband decided he would rather see Highgate Cemetery than visit the Tower of London. I’d bought a book of luminous black-and-white photos of Highgate in the tourist bookstore in Victoria Station, but I’d never considered spending one of the limited days of our unexpected trip to London to poke around a graveyard.

To my delight, Highgate Cemetery was glorious.  The cemetery had been all but abandoned by the 1970s, when parts of Taste the Blood of Dracula were filmed inside it.  Real-life vampire hunters had broken open tombs and staked corpses before the Friends of Highgate Cemetery formed to rescue the place.  When my husband and I visited in 1991, parts of the cemetery were being maintained as managed woodland.  Ivy crawled over the marble angels.  Hedgehogs and foxes roamed between the headstones. A feral cat befriended us: my first cemetery cat, although certainly not the last. Overall, even on a blustery, gray day in January, Highgate Cemetery was the most beautiful place I’d ever seen. That beauty inspired me to want to see more cemeteries.

Once you start to notice, people really are buried just about everywhere. Every tourist destination has a cemetery, from New York City to Paris to Honolulu. Some tourist destinations are tombs: the Great Pyramids of Egypt or the Taj Mahal, for instance. There are permanent residents in museums, houses of worship, ghost towns, battlegrounds…even in national parks. You may have already visited someone’s grave without giving it a second thought, if you’ve been to Pompeii or Westminster Abbey or the Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor.

But why would anyone go out of their way to visit a graveyard intentionally? In addition to the fascinating stories they contain, cemeteries can be open-air sculpture parks full of one-of-a-kind artwork. They provide habitats for birds and wildlife.  They can be gardens of surprising beauty. Cemeteries appeal to art lovers, amateur sociologists, birdwatchers, master gardeners, historians, hikers, genealogists, picnickers, and anyone who just wants to stop and smell the roses. Our relationships with the places we visit can be deepened and enriched by learning the stories of those who came—and stayed—before us.

Why visit cemeteries?  Because every day above ground is a blessing.  Because there is no better place to feel alive than a graveyard.  Because people visiting cemeteries tend to be on their best behavior.  Because there’s something really healing in breathing fresh air, looking at green grass, and listening to the birds sing.  Because life is short and that is the most beautiful thing of all. A little reminder never hurts.

Bio:

Loren Rhoads is the author of 199 Cemeteries to See Before You Die and Wish You Were Here: Adventures in Cemetery Travel. She writes about graveyards for the Horror Writers Association and blogs about cemeteries as vacation destinations at cemeterytravel.com.

You can find her books on Amazon, or by clicking these links. 199 Cemeteries To See Before You Die and Wish You Were Here: Adventures in Cemetery Travel. 

Thanks for joining us today. I'll try to get better at blogging so it's not a year between posts this time. 🙂

Happy Reading,

💜 Spot