Monday, August 19, 2013
Gifts from afar...
Well, my family thinks I'm seriously odd in some of my eating habits and no one was on board to try them. And then we had this conversation the other evening. Mike, Sean, and Sean's friend Roaman were present at dinner that night.
Me: So will you try some scampi fries after dinner?
Sean: Why did this person you don't know send you food?
Me: I do know her, we've been Facebook friends for a long time.
Sean: That's not "knowing" someone. She could be a 70 year old man for all you know. Don't you watch Catfish??
Me: Where do you get this paranoia from? This mistrust of strangers?
Sean: Well, certainly not from you, Mrs. Gullible.
Me: She just sent me them because she's nice.
Sean: They could be laced with acid.
Me: They're in sealed packages.
Sean: And you think that would stop someone?
Roaman: They do sell home sealers now. They could've resealed them.
Me: You're not helping. *shrugs* But even if, what's the harm? We'd all just take a little trip.
Sean: How am I going to explain the drugs in my system to the Air Force?
Me: Well I'd vouch for you.
Roaman: Yeah, me and your mom would explain what happened.
Sean: Mmm. And you are two highly credible witnesses. Not.
Me: I own a company.
Sean: Right. And dropping acid would totally ruin your reputation, I mean, wait, you're a horror writer, it would not hurt your work.
Me: Well, there is that. I've never done acid, but I might right a fabulous book, the best horror novel ever, while tripping.
Sean: Except that you'd write it in some language you completely made up because you were high and no one would be able to understand it.
Me: You're such a glass half full person. Some people like books they can't understand.
Mike wisely stayed out of this whole conversation. Roaman did, in fact, try my chips and loved them and they were not laced with acid (I knew they wouldn't be.) Mike did kiss me afterwards though and said:
Mike: Oh man, those don't even smell good.
Me: They smell like shrimp scampi, because they are shrimp flavored snacks.
Mike: That's just so gross.
But they aren't, they are delicious. And I will be forever in Vix's debt. And I don't know how I raised such skeptical, paranoid children. Must be Mike's fault.
Thank you, Vix!!