The Vagrant by Bryan Hall

Hello!! *waving wildly* I'm so excited. First, we are releasing a brand new novelette today by Bryan Hall. It's called The Vagrant and it's the first in a series of novellas/novelettes called the Southern Hauntings Saga. And let me just tell you-- they are GOOD. If you don't love them, there might be something wrong with you. Okay, so I might have become something of a "fan girl." So sue me. Anyway- you can purchase The Vagrant (and see that I'm right) here.

Second, and just as exciting, Bryan set up a website for his main character Crate Northgate. You can access that here. And I have been privy to an awesome, if somewhat awkward, attempt to interview Crate. And you, lucky folks, get to read it here first. Without further ado~

To whom it may concern,

My name's Joshua Roy.  I'm writing in regards to the man known as Creighton Northgate, or "Crate" for short.  I had heard of him months ago through a few local rumors, but finally learned a bit more about him through the http://www.whoiscratenorthgate.weebly.com site (which I'll also send a copy of this letter to).  A few days after visiting that site, I was in the right place at the right time.  It was a seedy little bar just outside town (I live in the middle of nowhere in Arkansas) and I heard a couple of fellas talking about the man that George and Ella Jenkins had hired to root out something going on at their farm.  They pointed him out to me, sitting at the bar.  Said his name was "Crate Something or Other".  I switched on my cell phone's audio record feature and tried to strike up a conversation with him.  I could tell within the first three words he said that he was getting close to being shit-hammer drunk.  It wasn't a long conversation, but I figured it would interest somebody.

 What follows is a transcript of the conversation:

Joshua - You look like a feller who could use another drink! Name's Joshua! Never seen you before...whereabouts you from ?

 Crate – Around.

Joshua - Never knew anyone from "Around"...that over by Bluff City? Hey next rounds on me! 

Crate - I appreciate it, but I think I've about had enough, friend.  Last thing I need's a hangover in the morning. Just needed a couple to...to help me sleep.

 Joshua - Oh yeah? I have problems too. Odd jobs have me going in every direction and I never know if I'm waking up or going to bed at 6am! What causes your troubles? 

 Crate - Heh.  Nothing you'd understand.  (a long pause)  Hell.  You heard of the Jenkins Farm?  Problems they've been having?

Joshua - They had to call in some sort of voodoo snake handler or something. How'd you hear about it?

Crate - They called me.  I ain't got much use for snakes, though.  Or voodoo.  Had a bad time with that shit a few years back.

 Joshua - Oh wow! So that's you. So this is how you make a living? Strange things happen and people call you to fix it?

 Crate - More or less. They don't always get fixed, though.

 Joshua - So what is it you try to fix? Ghosts? Spirits? Zombies? 

 Crate - Yep. Well...aside from the zombies.  Ain't seen a dead body yet that can stand back up.  Rigormortis is hell on the muscles.  You ought to try and drag a body that's been dead for a little while.  It don't bend and go all limp like in the movies.  Few hours and it's as stiff as a log.  Heavy as one too.  So nah.  No zombies.  (another long pause).  I'll have that beer now, I guess.  One more won't hurt.  Anyways...there's plenty out there you've heard of, friend.  Plenty you probably ain't believed in.  I'm here to tell you....believe it.  Believe it all.

Joshua – How the hell did you end up doing this?

Crate - Some folks are good at football.  So they play football.  Some of 'em are good at numbers.  So they become accountants or something.  I've got...talents that let me do what I do.  Beats being a carpenter all to hell.  Ain't like I've got a lot of competition. 

 (Note - at this point I noticed him eying me oddly and could fill his suspicion growing.  I filled the next few moments with idle chatter about the football game on the television until I was confident I could work in another serious question without drawing suspicion.  That portion of the conversation has been edited from this transcription for the sake of brevity)

 Joshua – You ought to film it.  When you're helping folks, I mean.  Fella could get rich off stuff like that, way all those Bigfoot and ghost hunting shows are all over the TV.

 Crate – I ain't trying to get rich.  And the last thing I need's to get famous.

Joshua – Hell…you are kinda famous.  Everybody's heard a little about you.  Didn't you have a brother or something that went missing?

(A long pause – I could tell I'd stepped over the line)

 Crate – Time for you to get the hell on from here, you lying son of a bitch.  You knew who I was.

Joshua – Hey man!  I'm just –

Crate – I said go to hell.

And that was it.  He finished his beer and left the bar a minute later.  I never saw him again, but I heard that that same night he managed to take care of whatever problem it was that had really been going on out at that farm. 

 I don't know if this helps shed any light on Creighton Northgate…but I can say he's not like anyone else I've ever met.

Thanks for listening,

Joshua Roy 

Go on, you know you want to see what all the fuss is about.

♥Stacey